June 2008

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”      John 14:27

All of us would much rather be praised than be blamed. We’re already too hard on ourselves by and large and with the added disapproval from outside ourselves it can make for a difficult day. As many of you know, my mother, Vina, moved into our home in January accompanied by a full-time aide to assist her with the Alzheimer’s that has attached itself to her mind. By and large it’s worked out pretty well, but there was one evening when I came home from Old First a bit tired and hungry. Pressy, the aide from the Philippines, just shook her head as I walked through the door to greet them both. Under her breath Pressy whispered, “Don’t talk to her.” Now this was unusual because my mother is blessed with the 7% of Alzheimer’s patients who have the “happy type” – mostly she’s happy. But not that night! For half an hour Mom criticized me, suspecting I was up to no good, “taking drugs and giving them to the dogs”, adding. “What happened to the old Barbara I used to know?” At first it was somewhat humorous, but then not so and I was becoming angry and upset. Off to bed she went. Here was my mother, for only half an hour of my life criticizing me, blaming me. I hadn’t experienced it before from her and was unnerved.

How many children and adults are blamed for no reason? How often do men and women hear words of criticism during the day? Even here at Old First, as in any place, some find it easier to run through the negatives than the positives. While criticism can, on occasion, be necessary, how many of us do it without thinking, out of habit?

The media teaches us well how to go after weakness. How much more life-giving is it to praise, give positive feedback when deserved. We all feel better for it. Most people are trying pretty hard to do their best.

I’ve learned one thing and that is when I’m feeling good about myself, by remembering I am loved by God in Christ, each and every minute. Others in my life reflect that same love back to me.

The contentment that follows from knowing who I am frees me from no longer getting down because of another’s criticism. I also find I don’t need to criticize others as much. There’s little glee in it, because I find myself a place of better peace, peace that God so wants for us to receive and carry.

Together in Christ,

Pastor Barbara.